Santa Jokes


What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Sandy Claws.


What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.


Where does Santa hide his gift to Mrs. Claus.
The Clauset of course!


What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.


What do you call Santa's-father's-sister?
Auntie Claus.


Why does Santa Claus put coal in the stockings of bad little boys and girls?
Because heating oil would leak out the bottom.


What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle!


What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?
Pour Santa flush on him!


I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.


What is red and white and black all over?
Santa Claus covered in ashes.


What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.


What do the elves call it when Père Noël claps his hands at the end of a play?
Santapplause!


Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. - Funny Xmas Jokes


When I was young we were poor. We didn't have a Christmas tree, we had a Christmas stump.


What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney?
Cinder Claus!


What do you get if you cross Raquel Welch and Santa Claus?
A thank you card from Santa.


Who delivers presents to dentist offices?
Santa Jaws!


Santa Claus is a Jolly fellow! Imagine all that driving and still being able to say "Ho! Ho! Ho!" - Xmas Joke


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